When Brandon and I got married in March of 2013 we never in a million years would of guessed that we would have trouble starting a family. You see twins and triplets run in my family, I’m actually a twin myself. So our biggest hope when we got married was having just one baby at a time, instead of the litters that my family seemed to have. We never would of guessed that we would eventually be hoping that we could get pregnant at all.
As soon as we got married the debate on when to have kids started. Brandon wanted to wait a couple years while I wanted to only wait 6 months to a year to start. We eventually compromised on waiting a year. By the time that first year was up I couldn’t wait to actively start trying but also was starting to get a little nervous. You see while we weren’t “trying” for that first year we also weren’t preventing. So I couldn’t believe that we hadn’t gotten a surprise in that time. That was very quickly put out of my mind because we got pregnant! We were so beyond ecstatic. We instantly started telling our friends and family and planning for the future. At around 6 weeks those dreams very quickly started to turn into a nightmare as I realized something wasn’t right, and we ended up miscarrying. We were devastated, but I clung to the hope that a lot of women in my family miscarried on their first pregnancy and ended up getting pregnant again very quickly.
We didn’t wait long to start trying again as we yearned for a baby after having our previous dreams shattered. Month after month went by, and I began to get more and more frustrated. That fear that something was wrong started to creep back but everyone kept telling us “you got pregnant once so you know everything works! You’ll get pregnant again, just give it time!” Well after we had passed what would of been our due date and we still weren’t pregnant, I knew it was time to find out what was going on.
I had a routine checkup with my OBGYN and informed him of my concerns. He didn’t think that we had any real “issues” but maybe just needed an extra boost to achieve pregnancy again. So he referred us to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to help with that.
Going into our first visit we were so hopeful that was the case and that we would be a super easy fix. We met with our RE and did an exam and during discovered that I was actually very close to ovulating, even though I was towards the back end of my cycle. Our RE informed us that my luteal phase was too short and if I was to get pregnant my body wouldn’t have enough time to realize before my period started. Luckily this could easily be fixed with some meds. We left in high spirits that we had an easy fix just like we thought! We were back on the road to our baby!
That next month we tried again on our own with the assistance of the meds, one of which was a shot to make me ovulate which scared the crap out of me! That month gave me the first tiny glimpse of what all is involved in infertility from the ultrasounds, medications, crazy hormones/mood swings, etc. Besides that, the month went great, but we still didn’t get pregnant.
So we met back with the RE and discussed starting IUI(Intrauterine insemination) to up our chances even more. Brandon had to go in to give a sample first to make sure everything was good to go on his end. On the day my most precious nephew was born I got the call with his results. His count was extremely low, and IUI wasn’t even an option for us now. Needless to say I went on the most intense emotional roller coaster all in one day. Our RE referred us to another doctor for him to find out what was going on.
After we met with that Doctor we felt a lot better again. He told us the fact that we got pregnant before was a huge plus for us, and prescribed Brandon some meds to bump up his numbers to where we needed them to be. We then had to start the waiting game. You see it takes 3 months to be able to tell if the medicine is doing what it’s supposed to. After those 3 long months were up we were excited and ready to get back on track!
Brandon gave another sample and we went to meet with the RE to discuss the results. Unfortunately his numbers still had not improved like they should have and we were told if we wanted to get pregnant IVF(in vitro fertilization) would be our only option. This obviously was a like a punch in the gut and took us a little while to digest.
IVF is an extremely expensive procedure for only about a 50/50 shot of getting pregnant, and insurance does not help with it at all. On top of that our RE gave us a list of pre-requisites that we have to complete before we can even start the process. Including me having to lose at least 30 pounds and have an HSG(hysterosalpingogram) done, and both of us having to have a fair amount of blood work done. So on top of the expense of IVF itself, we’re looking at spending around $1000 to just complete the pre-reqs. We’ll then have to go take an IVF class that costs another $200-300.
I’ve currently lost 23 pounds of the required weight so we’re hoping to be able to get all the pre-reqs done next month finally. I’ll post updates of our process as we have them!
If you have a similar story or if you have any questions for us or suggestions for posts you’d like to see in the future, leave a comment and let me know! Or you can always reach out to me through one of the links on the side!